So I've talked about the swans... Let me introduce you to, the bluebirds. 

As I mentioned previously, I put a bluebird nest box up in my yard and it was a complete success. The parent bluebirds, named Marla and Tyler, did a fantastic job of raising four healthy offspring. 

Who are fledging today. So by tomorrow at the latest, the nest will be empty. I'll have to clean it out. Make repairs to the box, and re-mount it for the next clutch. 

Three are already out of the nest, one lone baby, who may or may not be 24 hours younger than the siblings, is still in the nest figuring out what to do next. Meanwhile, the parents are still feeding them in the nest, while keeping eyes on the ones that are now who knows where getting their wings together. Here is a timeline of their growth from eggs until today. They hatched April 1st. Not a joke. 

So there's simply too much to say about the last couple of years to really cover everything. So consider this a continuation not a recap. We'll all catch up I'm sure. 

During the last four or five months, I have issues with time right now. And words, that's another story. But during this time, I've discovered an even deeper connection with the animals outside my home. 

When the hubs (George) and I bought this house last year (almost to the day actually) It was new construction in a newer "neighborhood" of our very large development here in NE Florida. (GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY!!! Fuck you DeSantis).Since I've gone on LOA, I've been taking almost daily morning walks with my Moms (yes you will learn, Mom1 is my birth mom, Mom2 is my step-mother, Dad is well Dad, and they all live together in the house around the way that we originally moved into. I didn't get far and my family is weird). We take a walk halfway around their neighborhood's "lake" (retention pond) and keep track of the wildlife. I've taken hundreds of photos of the birds (and alligator) we see. 

I created a little garden next to one of the contractor installed trees (a cyprus) in my backyard, mounted a bluebird house, and have spent more money than sense on bird food of all kinds. 

Also a pair of mute swans appeared on my retention pond in my little neighborhood. If you haven't seen mute swans in the wild, it's intense. They are HUGE and make Canada Geese look slight and delicate. These swans literally just appeared one day. And I fell in love. ​

I know I was going to walk away after that last post. But I decided to upgrade some things if I'm going to take this seriously again. Like a professional adult or something. Not that I make impulsive decisions or anything. But whatever. I have a domain now, and cool sounding name and I'm happy with it. 

I should probably get some sleep at some point. I have to check on my swans in the morning. I'm not a morning person and officially I don't <i> have</i> to get up. But I will. 

On that note, time to read more of Wil Wheaton's "Still Just a Geek" (I'm almost done) and then crash. 'Night Loves. 

So... A lot has happened since my last post. Trigger warning: Mental Health, SI, Self Harm

|Angel passed away from cancer. I adopted Boo Violet. I got a job at a very large bank. I met a guy. I got moved around to a new project. Started dating said guy. Got moved to another department. Proposed to the guy. He said yes. Bought a house with the guy. Moved me, my kid, and my dog in with the guy. Adopted two girl rats. Planted gardens. Married the guy. Got drunk at the reception (which pretty much sucked a bag of dicks), crashed my car, spent my wedding night in jail. Quit drinking on Halloween 2021. Had a mental health crisis during the holidays. Went on Leave of Absence from my job 12/20/21... Haven't gone back yet. 

Also made friends with two swans who appeared around the time I was contemplating and planning suicide. They are a large part of how I survived. I also entered a partial hospitalization program, changed my meds (still doing that), and re-focused on my art, and the natural world. 

I am more tan than I have been in years, and my body dysphoria just hates that, but mentally, I'm getting stronger every day. 

I'm currently too tired to write much as to why I've been "away." Or think too much about any one thing. But here is an email I sent today to a very dear, very new, friend: 

​ 

So that's my thoughts today. Glad to be back doing this. Will probably be even more random now than I was. Is that possible? Who know... Am I talking to myself? Probably.