So you know that Doctor Who themed tattoo I got for my 41st birthday? This one in case you forgot: 

The symbols behind the Tardis and sonic screwdrivers are "Gallifreyan" for my daughter and my names. But the screwdrivers themselves are really about relationship goals. 

One of the most romantic stories on television is the love affair/marriage of the Doctor and River Song. And I chose the 12th Doctor and River's sonic screwdrivers because their love surpasses time and space. 

But it also tragic. They are meeting in the wrong times. They are two comets crossing in the cosmos. And I'm a doomed romantic. 

There is never a good time to start anything. There is just a time. I am trying very hard to maintain equilibrium during a turbulent time that involves not only the most epically fucked Presidential election in generations, but the imminent move of my parents and sole support system to Florida from the Mid-Atlantic, the possibility of going from part-time to full-time employment, and the pause button being pressed on a relationship that feels more real and potential to me than any I've had. 

I love easily, but I love deep and hard and with every fiber. And like River, I don't expect my love to be returned. But oh how I hope. I'd pray if I was religious, but I don't think Odin gives a shit. 

I'm an adult trapped in an adolescent loop with a Wildflower Daughter and a hot-mess dog and I'm in love. And I'm scared. And I have to make decisions that I do not want to make. And ultimately, I make them alone. 

All I can hope is that like River and the Doctor, the stars align and things fall into place, and I find my way. And maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll turn and hear, "Hello Sweetie." 

I need to take a break from raging over injustices. Don't worry, I'll be back at it soon. 

Wednesday was my birthday. I'm now officially "in my 40s." In that, I am 41. 

For my birthday, I decided it was time to proudly let my Geek Flag fly and proclaim my eternal and unending love of The Doctor. 

I have been in love with Doctor Who since I was 9 or 10-years-old. I remember Tom Baker's mile long scarf and K9 eagerly helping Sarah Jane. I remember random episodes of other Doctors. I remember that sound... If you have ever watched Doctor Who, you know the sound. The Tardis, appearing and disappearing. The theme song. There is something undeniably identifiable about Doctor Who that just doesn't exist anywhere else. 

When I heard that the show was being rebooted in 2005, I was as excited as a young child for Christmas or birthdays. I didn't care who would play the Doctor. I didn't care about anything other than the Tardis would be back, there would be a companion, there would be adventures through time and space. HE WAS COMING BACK!

Then he was here, 9 came and grabbed my hand (okay Rose's hand, shut up) and said "run." And my heart ran away with him in the Tardis again. It was "Fantastic!"

Then that season was ending and 10 made his appearance, tall and dark and lanky, grinning at us endearingly until angered and then causing destruction with a whisper. He was my anchor during my pregnancy and my daughter's infancy. The oncoming storm called "Allons-y" and I went. 

I was concerned when 11 took the reigns as he seemed so young and puppy-like. That galloping puppy reminded us that bad things in life don't make good things unimportant, and to make our stories good ones. He hollered "Geronimo" and leaped into adventure, and I followed. 

Then there was 12. The previous "Nu-Who" Doctors had shouted for us to follow along with them, this one, this amazing incarnation of a timeless Time Lord, yelled "Shut up!" and I listened. I listened to the man with the face of a Pompeii patriarch, reminding him that he saves people, that's what he does. Even when they are pudding heads. And I knew this, this man with the lines on his face and the attack eyebrows and cross arms, this is the Doctor I've been waiting for. This is the Doctor I have needed. This is the Doctor I dreamed about. 

Now one of the best characters ever introduced to the Whoniverse is absolutely the indefatigably adventurous River Song. River is a human conceived on the Tardis so she is essentially part Time Lord. She is also the Doctor's wife eventually. She is not his traveling companion and they both pursue other romantic interests when separated. And they are coming together in the wrong order. River says "Hello Sweetie" and you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that something epic is about to happen. 

Back to my Geek Flag flying. 

I designed a tattoo to exemplify my love and lessons from this silly Sci-Fi show from the BBC. On Monday before my birthday, I had my favorite (and regular) tattoo artist, install an homage to the geekiest of geeky television. I included the Tardis, and the sonic screwdrivers of both 12 and River Song. And connected everything with simplified "Gallifreyan" representing my daughter and me. My daughter loves the show almost as much as I do. 

This tattoo is on my right forearm and is covered by full length sleeves, but I'm completely in love with it and what it means to me. I wish I could thank everyone involved in this creation from the United Kingdom. And especially Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant, Matt Smith, Peter Capaldi, Billie Piper, Freema Agyman, Catherine Tate, Karen Gillan, Arthur Darvill, Alex Kingston, Jenna Coleman and all the writers, directors, crew, show runners... Everyone. I am so grateful that this silly show from my childhood matured and reappeared when I needed it most. 

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