The wrong time

So you know that Doctor Who themed tattoo I got for my 41st birthday? This one in case you forgot: 

The symbols behind the Tardis and sonic screwdrivers are "Gallifreyan" for my daughter and my names. But the screwdrivers themselves are really about relationship goals. 

One of the most romantic stories on television is the love affair/marriage of the Doctor and River Song. And I chose the 12th Doctor and River's sonic screwdrivers because their love surpasses time and space. 

But it also tragic. They are meeting in the wrong times. They are two comets crossing in the cosmos. And I'm a doomed romantic. 

There is never a good time to start anything. There is just a time. I am trying very hard to maintain equilibrium during a turbulent time that involves not only the most epically fucked Presidential election in generations, but the imminent move of my parents and sole support system to Florida from the Mid-Atlantic, the possibility of going from part-time to full-time employment, and the pause button being pressed on a relationship that feels more real and potential to me than any I've had. 

I love easily, but I love deep and hard and with every fiber. And like River, I don't expect my love to be returned. But oh how I hope. I'd pray if I was religious, but I don't think Odin gives a shit. 

I'm an adult trapped in an adolescent loop with a Wildflower Daughter and a hot-mess dog and I'm in love. And I'm scared. And I have to make decisions that I do not want to make. And ultimately, I make them alone. 

All I can hope is that like River and the Doctor, the stars align and things fall into place, and I find my way. And maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll turn and hear, "Hello Sweetie."